a piece of advice from a mother of the bride

Wedding planning is not for the faint hearted. Fortunately, and by its very nature, getting married is not something you do alone. There's the groom, of course, but when he's fed up with color palettes and floral arrangement, there is a whole slew of people ready to hurl advise your way. Take my advice and listen to them. Especially if the advise is coming from someone like Diane. Diane emailed me a few weeks ago to share the details of her daughter's wedding and exchange information. I thought it would be fun for her to share some lessons learned now that the wedding is over. I think you'll enjoy what she has to say. Thanks Diane! 1. Decide what is most important to you... then pick the right moment and tell your daughter how you feel about it.My most important wish was I wanted to go alone with my daughter when we first went shopping for "the"dress. I wanted to savor that special moment when my daughter tried on the very first dress...and saw herself as a bride! I think of this a the "Ohhhhh"moment.

2. Allow yourself and your daughter a Bridezilla meltdown moment and be able to laugh about it afterwards! There's a lot of emotion and unending details in a wedding. No one is perfect...

3. Ask yourself what she needs from you most of all.Is it a sounding board, an idea person, an errand person, a phone contact person.Then have a conversation about how you can really help her most.Keep remembering it is HER wedding!

4. Write her a letter and then read it to her at a quiet moment. Sometimes we don't take the time to stop and think about the experience. It is a once-in-a-lifetime milestone and it's easy to get caught up in it all.One of my most poignant moments was the morning of the wedding...Between getting hair and makeup done we sat outside on the patio and I read my letter to my daughter. It will always be our special moment. I cried, she cried.
I think it helped me feel so much more calm and in control of my emotions the rest of the day.

5. Take time for yourself. Think through all the logistics of getting ready, getting to the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Getting to the church on time!It adds so much stress. Hopefully you won't have to call and plead for someone to bring your things across town so you can get ready. Take time for yourself so you can be calm and cool!

6. It is my belief that the best wedding gift you can ever give your child is to really "love" their partner. How you treat your new son-in-law goes along way in helping the marriage succeed. Try to talk about something else besides the wedding!

7. Take pictures all along the way. The wedding is not just one day.We loved "Meet the Parents"night and really laughed watching Steve Martin and Martin Sheen in"Father of the Bride" We have wonderful photos which bring back all the memories.

8. Encourage everyone to wear their wedding shoes ahead of time. Bring moleskin and scissors on the day of the wedding. Give everyone a chance to line their shoes with moleskin. We had no blisters and we danced the night away! of course, the brides shoes did break!

9. Accept the fact that everything is going to take MORE time than you think it will. Friday night commute traffic... what a nightmare before a 6 pm rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Not a good time to pick up wedding dog from the groomers!

10. Help everyone deal with the inevitable disappointments. Something definitely will go wrong... My motto is: The best weddings are ones where something really goes wrong... because they have the best stories!

{photo credits: via Grace Ormond}